2013 – March


6 March 2013

This afternoon I found Weasel and his dog, Bear panning on the sidewalk. I stopped to talk to him and he asked, “Have you heard anything about Joy?”

I said, “No, I haven’t, but I phoned the hospital today. They don’t have a listing for her as a patient. She has her own place now. Friends are  nearby if she has any problems.”

“She has to stop drinking. For the past year she’s been watering her wine down to almost nothing, but she still gets sick. Her kidneys are ready to shut down. She may have been on dialysis again. I don’t know. Do you have her phone number?”

‘No, I’ve never had a phone number for her.”

Weasel said, “I have a phone, but I don’t have any numbers on it. I barely know how to use it.”

“It’s hard to quit drinking, I just got out of the hospital myself. I was dehydrated. The doctor said, ‘I don’t want to state the obvious,  you should quit drinking; but if you have a glass of juice or water, between drinks of alcohol, that will help.’

“The people at the Shawarma Restaurant here kind of mother me. Mia will come out on her break and bring me a bottle of vitamin water or Gatorade. She’ll say, ‘Now, Weasel, I want you to drink this to keep up your electrolytes. I’m going to stand here until you drink it.’ Another waitress will bring me a bottle of something when her shift ends.

“Wolf and I were talking a while back and we counted fourteen of us who have gone this past year. That’s really sad. I’m not going to last much longer.”

I asked, “Have you seen anything of Serge, lately?”

“No, I haven’t seen him for three or four months. I don’t know what’s happened to him.”

I said, “I visited him in hospital when he had his last fall…”

“Yeah, he said it was a fall, but nobody falls that much. He was beaten, probably by some of those young punks. He was a nice guy, always quiet, minded his own business, kept to himself.”


7 March 2013

This morning Metro asked me if I had seen Joy lately. I saw somebody sitting in her spot. I asked, “Who’s that?”

“That’s Mark, he doesn’t know anything. I already asked him.”

I introduced myself to Mark. He said, “They call me Markus the Carcass,” (he does look a bit like a cadaver, with hollow cheeks, deep circles beneath his eyes. “You’re a friend of Joy’s aren’t you?”

“Yes!” I said, “Have you heard anything about her?”

“I don’t know her very well, but what I know as a pan handler is, if you’re not out panning over Christmas there must be something terribly wrong. I heard that she was down here for a few hours in January, but that’s it.”

I said, “I visited her three times in the hospital, she was released, then went back in again. Maybe I’ll try the hospital again.”

I phoned the East General Hospital and they don’t presently have her on record, so, looking on the positive side, I guess she’s been released. I’ll wander down to ‘the heater’ at noon to see if anyone is around. I haven’t talked to any of my friends in weeks. I really miss them.


10 March 2013

This morning Metro said to me, “Your friend is back. I think she’s still there. I didn’t see her pass this way.”

“Thanks, Metro.”

Sure enough, Joy was sitting in her usual place. She said, “I was wondering if you still came by this way. I’ve been out of hospital for thirteen days, but it was just too cold to come down here. I’m using a cane now, so I have to be careful walking on icy sidewalks. They gave me a walker to use at home, but I can’t carry it up the stairs. I’ve been put on a list for subsidized housing. They’re going to try to find me a place with no stairs.”

“Weasel was worried about you, I talked to him last week.”

“Weasel should be worrying about himself. Did you hear what happened to him?”

“He mentioned that he had been in hospital.”

“He went really crazy. They had him in the Psych. Ward. He thought that people were shooting at him. He was sitting there dodging bullets. I guess they have him on meds. now.”

“Do you have your Health Card?”

“No, they seemed to have lost it at the hospital. I don’t have my prescriptions either. I thought they would be in the envelope they gave me, but they weren’t there. I was just anxious to get out.

“Before I went into the hospital I had portions of food in baggies. I forgot to put them in the freezer. When I got home there was a horrible smell and a real mess in the fridge.”

I walked to the park at noon. It had started raining, so I wasn’t expecting to see any of my friends there. At the benches were Wolf and his dog Shaggy, Jake, Big Chester, Little Chester, Shark and Buck. As I approached Wolf said to me, “You missed Joy, she just left.”

“I didn’t think she’d stay out in the rain.”

“How are you Jake, Do you have your furniture yet?”

“No, I fucked up again. I was supposed to have seventy dollars for the delivery. You don’t get anything for free. I’d spent the money, so they put me on the list again. Maybe, next month.”

I said, “I heard that Weasel was in hospital.”

Wolf said, “He was out with me. We were both over at Shark’s place doing some mushrooms. It was about one, thirty; I guess Shark wanted to go to bed, he asked us to leave. That’s why I don’t like to have people at my place, you can never get them to leave. Anyway, Weasel and I staggered back to my place. He was in rough shape, We’d both been into the Cosmo thing (if you know what I mean). I think he’d been snorting some dummy dust. I put him in the bedroom, then I heard crashing noises. I went in, he’d torn my metal table in half and was hiding in the closet saying that people were shooting at him. I was pissed off, so I told him to leave. Half an hour later he came back with three cops. I told them that I had to put the two dogs in a room, so I had plenty of time to stash my pot and anything else I had.

I opened the door, invited the cops in. They asked me about shooting. I told them, ‘There’s been no shooting here. It’s all in Weasel’s head.’ I showed them the mess he made. Showed them some photos of him and me together with the dogs, so that they knew we were buds. I asked them to take him somewhere. They said, ‘We don’t operate a taxi service.’ I said, ‘Do what you like then, but he’s not coming back in here.’ He was in the hospital about five days. When he came back to get Bear he apologized, but he didn’t offer to pay for any of the damage. If he’d offered me a hundred bucks, I wouldn’t have turned him down.”


11 March 2013

It was raining this morning until about nine o’clock. At noon I went to the park, not expecting to see anybody. Wolf and his dog Shaggy were there along with Little Chester.

Wolf said, “Hello, Dennis, I hope you’re going to help me beat up Jacques today. He really pissed me off. The number of years I’ve been around, I don’t need anybody telling me where to sit. I’ve been downtown since six this morning. I was at my spot until nine then came here. I’m soaked, Shaggy is soaked and our caboose is soaked. I got something here, but don’t tell anyone.” He pulled out a bottle of sherry from under Shaggy’s blanket and took a drink.  Shaggy prefers to lay in the mud. Then he took out a can of Old Milwaukee and poured it in his drinking bottle and down his leg.

I said, “Sit down Chester. Oh, I forgot, we had this conversation yesterday, you prefer standing.”

“Yeah, I like to stand. I’m short enough anyway. The only way I get to look down on people is if they’re sitting and I’m standing.”

I asked, “So, how’s it going, Chester?”

“About five feet, one and a half inches. Standing on the curb makes me a bit taller.”

“No, I meant how are things going for you?”

“I’m doing okay, I only think about what’s going on right now. I don’t think about the future.”

“That’s a good attitude. We don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. We don’t even know what’s going to happen in the next hour.”


21 March 2013

I saw Joy huddled in her blanket, hood pulled up, with another blanket wrapped around her legs. Under the blanket she was wearing white and pink striped socks over her summer shoes.

After we greeted she said, “Where were you yesterday? I was worried about you. I even asked Metro if he had seen you. I guessed that you drove to work.”

I said, “Yesterday I was running late and took a different bus route. Because it was snowing I didn’t think you’d be here.”

“Yeah, I was here. I’m freezing now. This cold weather is really hard on my fibromyalgia. My legs are stiff. At least at home I have the heater that a friend gave me. I even take it into the bathroom with me. What I’m looking forward to now is a nice hot soak in my bathtub. At home I’m fine. I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t running short of money.

“I see these chicks wearing miniskirts up to here, nylons and pointy heeled come-fuck-me-boots. I want to say to them, Put a pair of pants on. When you get to work you can peel off in the washroom and come out looking fly. Who are you trying to impress out here on the street… me?”

“Do you have your health card and your prescriptions, yet.”

“No, I’m still trying to get in contact with my worker. I’ve left all kinds of phone messages for her. I told her, ‘Either I’ll be here, panning, or I’ll be at home.’ How complicated is that?

“There is an apartment opening up on the main floor. I’d be between the guys that stomp around — there’s a third one now — and the crazy lady that screams all the time, but I could take care of that.”

“I don’t think I’ll be at the traffic island at noon. It’s just too cold.

At the traffic island were Shakes, Buck, with his dog Dillinger and Weasel with his dog Bear. The two dogs didn’t get along, so Weasel tied Bear to a fence on the far side and Buck kept Dillinger on his leash. There was still some barking, growling and howling. Weasel said, “Bear thinks he’s the boss, Dillinger thinks he’s the boss. It’s better just to keep them separated. Dillinger is just a pup.”

Weasel asked Shakes, “How’s it going? Everything okay at your place?”

“No, I haven’t had a drink.”

Weasel said, “I can help you with that.” To the rest of us he said, “Shakes and me are the only ones of us who can’t function at all before we’ve had a couple of drinks. I can’t even make it from my couch to the fridge, and I live in a small bachelor apartment.”

Shakes said, “Besides that, they’ve cut off my hydro. I phoned my worker about it. They’re supposed to take care of that. She said, ‘Just take your last bill to the bank. They’ll look after it for you.’ I said, ‘What’s the point of me taking it to the bank. I don’t have any friggin money. I didn’t even have money for the bus yesterday. I got on with Jake, he showed them his pass and I just sat down. The driver said to me, ‘This bus isn’t leaving until you get off.'”

I asked, “Did you get off?”

“No, I just sat there. Other people were getting off. They were asking, ‘How long do we have to wait here?’ The driver said, ‘Until this guy gets off, or the police come, whichever happens first.’ Eventually the transit security guys came. They took me off, then gave me a day pass so I could catch the next bus to get home.”

Weasel said, “So security didn’t mind you bothering another bus driver. They just didn’t want you bothering that one.”

“I guess so.

“Another problem I’m having is my phone doesn’t work. It exploded.”

Weasel said, “Don’t give me that, Shakes! You threw it against the wall. We’ve all been there, done that.”

Buck asked, “Did you hear that Johnny, in the electric wheel chair died. It happened just last Friday. They amputated both his legs, but the gangrene went higher. He died in hospital.

“His brother came down from Montreal. Johnny had already died by then. The first thing the brother did was to contact Johnny’s worker, then he had the locks changed. That’s strange, isn’t it? Johnny had a roommate. Now the roommate can’t get in, get his stuff out or anything. The brother went back to Montreal.”

Jacques said, “I saw Joy earlier. She and Chester went over to his place. They asked if I wanted to come, but they both smoke. I don’t want to breathe that stuff. I’d rather stay out in the fresh air. I’d go home, but my window is boarded up and it’s dark in there.

I asked, “Has anybody heard anything more about Luther?”

Jacques said, “You mean guitar player Luther? Last I heard, from somebody here, was that Luther had been beaten up and was taken to hospital. He wasn’t expected to live through the weekend.”

I asked, “Does anybody know his last name? Maybe I could look him up on the computer.”

Weasel said, “John Jakes. His real name is John Jakes.”

I said, “His real name is John, but they call him Luther for short.”

“Something like that.”


22 March 2013

At the traffic island today were Jacques, Shakes, Jake, Wolf and hi dog Shaggy. We greeted each other and I was about to sit on the sidewalk. Jake said, “Be careful, Dennis, don’t sit on that metal plate. You’ll freeze your ass off.”

Jacques handed me a folded hoodie, I sat on that. When I was settled Shakes said, “Thanks Dennis for giving me those bus tickets yesterday. I paid my fare and they took me home in handcuffs.”

“How did that happen, Shakes?”

“I wasn’t even drunk, I was just tired. I fell asleep and when I woke up I was in the bus garage at the end of the line. The driver called security. They drove me home in hand cuffs.

“I still don’t have my hydro. I phoned my worker this morning. She said, ‘I don’t think we’ll have time to see you today, Shakes.’ I said, ‘You mean I’m going to have to go all weekend with out hydro. How would you like to go all weekend without hydro?’ Then she said, ‘We’ll try to make room for you some time this afternoon.’ ”

“Where is their office? Where do you have to go to meet them?”

“Their office is on Carlton, but they know where I’ll be. Where I am every day — at my office.”

Jake asked, “Is everything turned off? When I had problems with hydro a guy took me to the basement. He flipped a breaker switch and everything was okay after that.”

Shakes said, “My heat isn’t on, my stove doesn’t work, my fridge doesn’t work, my radio doesn’t work, my lamp doesn’t work, my microwave doesn’t work, my dish washer doesn’t work…”

“Shakes, you don’t have a dishwasher!” said Jake, “but you’ve got a hell of a lot more than I have.”

Jacques was paging through a flyer from the Metro grocery store. He said, “I have to buy some margarine. They have Beycel here for three, seventy-nine, but that’s too expensive. Here they have the meat pies I like. They’re so good. Three meat pies, they call them, for $3.50 each. If someone had hydro, he could buy some of these. They’re frozen, you just heat them up in your oven or microwave.”

Jake asked, “When you’re finished with that, Jacques can I have a look at it.

“When do we get our check this month?”

“This month we get it on the Thursday, because the next day is Good Friday.”

“My birthday is on Wednesday. You mean I get my check the day after my birthday. For four days my younger brother and I are the same age. I get that extra $200. for my special (AIDS) diet. I’m spending it all on food this time. I’m going to stock my freezer full.”

Jacques Said, “Don’t forget your bus pass. It’s only thirty-five dollars. I always buy mine on check day. That way I don’t forget.”

Jake said, “Okay, Jacques you remind me and we’ll both get them at the same time.”

Jacques said, “I don’t mind buying yours if you promise to pay me back.”

“Thanks, Jacques. I’ll pay you back. I’ll be able to pay everybody back, as long as I don’t celebrate too much on my birthday.

“Look over there, Uncle Wolf is really drunk. Shaggy is rolling in the snow.”

Jacques said, “She wants to go home. She’s been out all morning. Look who else is there, Jerry and Gnome, the biggest leeches in town. I bet they rob him blind. They know Wolf always makes lots of money on Friday, because people know he won’t be panning on the weekend. If Wolf sends Gnome on a run, he probably won’t come back.”


25 March 2013

At the park, sitting on the curb, were Jake,  Hippo, Little Chester, Weasel, Pierre, Gaston, Jacques, Wolf and his dog, Shaggy. Jake asked me, “Dennis, do you know what day this is? It’s my birthday. I turn 42 again. Ha ha ha! I’m half in the bag now, thanks to Wolf, and I got some pot from Pierre.”

“Happy birthday, Jake!”

I walked over to Hippo, who I hadn’t seen for about six months. “Hi Hippo, it’s been a long time. How is everything going?”

“Fine, same old, same old. I got a picture on my phone here that I want to show you. It’s a D-11 ‘dozer, the kind I drove in B.C.”

“That looks like an expensive phone.”

“Yes, it is, very expensive.

“Do you have any plans to go back there?”

“No, they’re getting me set up on disability allowance. I’ll wait to see how that works out.”

Wolf called me over, “Dennis, I’m a bit wasted, but I wanted to tell you about a book I’m reading. It’s written by a guy…”

Little Chester interrupted, “Hi Wolf!”

“Chester, will you give us a few minutes. I’ll lose my train of thought. Now, where was I? If I get distracted the little mice, running around in their wheel, in my brain, get confused and go in every which direction, then I never know what will come to mind. Anyway, the book was written by somebody Sandford. I can’t remember his first name (John). The title has ‘Prey’ in it, there is a whole series of them (Eyes of Prey, Winter Prey, Naked Prey, Silent Prey, Night Prey). The main character is Lucas Davenport, a so-called detective from Wisconsin. One of the ladies gave the book to me. I was surprised — it’s a bit raw for their tastes. Anyway, you’d like it — a real shoot-em-up. You know the type. It’s about this ninety-one year old man, with dementia, who thinks the Cold War is still going on. He believes he’s in some kind of a sleeper cell working for the C.I.A. He engages his grandson to do his dirty work. He gets him to shoot an envoy from the Russian Embassy; of course the grandson screws it all up. You get the idea.”

Shaggy was getting restless and started barking. Wolf said, “Shaggy, stop pacing in circles. Pick someone, anyone, and bite them. How about Pierre over there? No, it’s just Pierre’s’s shoes you like to bite. How about Jake, or Chester? Okay then, just lie down on your blanket and be quiet. Here’s a doggy biscuit. Dennis you give her a biscuit. She’ll love you for life.”

I asked Jake, “Do you have your furniture yet?”

“No, not yet. I’m hoping to get some things soon.

Jake asked Gaston, “Do you guys ever come across used or discarded furniture?”

“Sometimes we do. What is it you need?”

“I really need a microwave.”

“We’ll see what we can do.”

“Thanks, man, I’d appreciate that.”


26 March 2013

Today, Jacques, Wolf and Shaggy were sitting on the curb. A short while later Weasel joined them. Wolf asked me, “Dennis, did I see you here yesterday?”

“Yes, Wolf, I was here.”

“I thought you might have been, but I couldn’t be sure. I’m a bit foggy about yesterday, it being Jake’s birthday and all. It was my job to take care of him, so to speak. All I remember is being woken up at ‘the heater’ at eleven o’clock, by the police, saying I couldn’t sleep there. It took me another two and a half hours to walk home. I stopped at Tim Horton’s 0n the way. I left Shaggy’s blanket behind. I left her water dish behind…

“It’s a good thing you didn’t forget Shaggy.”

“No, I’d never do that. She’d remind me. We’ve been through a lot together.

“So, Dennis, do you have a cigarette for me?”

“No, Wolf, I haven’t had cigarettes for thirty years.”

“You’re no help!

“Excuse me, Ma’am, could I buy a cigarette from you?”

“Sorry I only have a few left.”

“Weasel, I hate to ask you since you just sat down, but could I have a cigarette?”

“Yes Wolf, here you go. Jacques will you pass this down?”

“Thanks, Weasel. I hate asking. I don’t mind panning. I can get ten bucks that way, but asking for a cigarette? Some of my regulars won’t even give me money if they see me smoking.

Jake asked , “Weasel, do we get our checks today?”

“I got mine, Joy got hers. Yours should be in the mail today.”

I asked Weasel, “Have you seen Joy lately?”

“Yeah, I saw her earlier today at Chester’s. I decided not to stick around, Joy and I aren’t on good terms lately.”


27 March 2013

As I approached the park I could see the Salvation Army van parked beside the traffic island. About a half-dozen people were milling around. I couldn’t make out their faces.

On the opposite curb were Shakes, Buck and Dillinger, Wolf and Shaggy.

Buck said to me, “Joy’s over there.”

Shortly after, Joy came limping across the street. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around much. My legs are really giving me trouble.”

I asked, “Have you talked to your worker about getting your health card and your prescriptions?”

“I was just asking these ladies to pass a message along to her. I better go back, there’s still some stuff I have to discuss with them.”

“I’ll come with you.”

At the traffic island were André, Chester Mariah and Jacques.”

“André!” I said, “I haven’t seen you for months, and you shaved this morning.”

“I not only shaved, I’ve been sober for three months now. I’ve just been staying around home. I havent been down here for ages.”

“How is your stomach feeling?’

“A lot better now. I’ve still got problems, but not nearly as bad as before.”

I shook hands with Jacques, Mariah and Chester. Chester said, “Dennis, remember those bus tickets you gave me a while back. I think I gave them to Joy or somebody. Do you have any more?”

“Sure, Chester, I’ve got extra.”

“Thanks, Dennis, I’m going to be leaving now.”

Mariah said, “He’s just going to the Mission for his lunch. Joy and I were over at his place yesterday. Joy brought some steaks. Raven was there. Joy was really polite to her. She said to me , ‘This is Chester’s place, he can have any one over that he wants to. I just wish he’d stay away from the people who are just after his money.’

“I don’t know why he invites her over. She probably lets him play with her a bit, I don’t know how far it goes.

“Anyway, Joy was cooking the vegetables and had the steaks in the frying pan. Raven comes over and starts fussing with the meat and flickng her hair. Both Joy and I got pissed off. Joy said, ‘Just why are you here? Were you invited, or did you just decide to drop by? I’m trying to cook dinner for my friends.’ Raven got the hint and left. Chester didn’t say anything.

“I don’t go out very often. I like to be alone and I have a certain reputation, being that I’ve lived there for four years. When ever there is a vacancy the landlady always asks me if I know them, and what kind of a person are they. There was a real problem with the guy who used to be in the basement. He was a real nut job. I probably had something to do with getting him to leave. He destroyed that apartment. The landlady sued him, but he must have had a really good lawyer, because he didn’t have to pay for any damage.”

“What kind of damage did he do?”

“The kind of flooring, that he had, came in a roll, but it had lines on it. Do you know the type I mean?”


“Something like that, anyway, when it’s flat it looks like tiles. He used duct tape over every one of the lines, every place he thought a draft might come through. He took a hammer to the counter, left that in pieces, ripped the cupboards down. For some reason, he threw a bucket of water at the door. Like I said, he destroyed the place.”

“I like to smoke every once in a while, when I lived at the back I could never see the landlady coming. I’d hear her in the hall yelling, ‘I know somebody’s smoking here.’ I’d get out the Febreze and some other things I use to clear the smell from the air. Now, I live in the front so I can see her car pull up. She told me once, ‘I know you smoke, but I’ve never seen you.’

“Yesterday, I invited Joy to come up. Outcast came over and they went back to her place for a while. He didn’t stay long. She came back up and we listened to music, danced a bit, smoked, had a few beer.

“Every once in a while I have my concerts in the evening: The Eagles, another night it might be Santana, what ever I’m in the mood for. Around ten, thirty I lower the volume. I don’t want to get in trouble with my neighbors, but they all know me.”

It was time for me to leave, so I said my goodbyes and crossed the street. I said good-bye to Jake and Wolf. He said, “Dennis, if you’re coming by tomorrow, could you bring me a book. You know what I like, a spy story, espionage, that sort of thing. I’ve got the whole Easter weekend and no book to read.”

“Sure, Wolf.”


28 March 2013

As I approached the park I could see Wolf rummaging around in Shaggy’s ‘caboose’. Beside him were Jake, Chester and Jacques. I handed a Ken Follett book to Wolf.

“What’s this about?” asked Wolf.

“Espionage, the kind of stuff you like.”

“Yeah, Ken Follett, I’ve read some of his stuff. He’s good. Thanks, Dennis.

“Can I get you to fill Shaggy’s water dish. I’d do it myself, but she wants it right now. There, see, she’s trying to drink it before it even comes out of the bottle.

“I didn’t even go to work this morning. Do you know what time Shaggy and I got up? Eight o’clock, imagine that. Usually, I get up at four, thirty to get ready for five, thirty, but not today, no siree. I had to come down here because I owed Jake forty bucks, otherwise I would have stayed home. Now, I’m drunk.

“Did you see the game last night? Boston against Montreal. At one point Montreal was behind four to two, then in the last thirty seconds they tied it up, and won in overtime. That’s why I have my Montreal sweater on. See what I’m wearing under this, another Montreal sweater. I got my Montreal cap and I’m sitting on a Montreal cushion. Just wait until some Boston fan comes by. I’ve got everything covered. It was really a fans game. I’m just waiting for Weasel to come by, he’s a Boston fan. He’s probably hiding from me.”

Jacques was feeding Scruffy some pieces of his sandwich. Wolf said, “At least give her a piece with meat. She smells the cheese in your pack.”

‘Dennis,” said Jacques. “you like cheese? Look what I got this morning at the Metro store.” He showed me a plastic container of garlic spiced, creamed cheese. Two of these for five dollars, that’s about half price. When they’re near the expiry date they put them on sale. Smell this! You like Limburger? I love it, me. Again, two for five dollars. I had some brie, but already I ate all of it. It’s better warmed up a bit. It was cold this morning so it didn’t have much taste.”

Wolf said, “Jacques and his exotic cheese. Yesterday I boiled some big chicken drumsticks with carrots, onion and celery. Just like my mother used to cook. She’d say, “Now you boil it for an hour and a half, so it absorbs all the flavor from the carrots and celery. It was delicious, of course Shaggy got some of it.”

Jake said, “Jacques, do you want to come over to my place for some surf and turf? I’m really a good cook. I’ve got steaks, a bag of shrimp. I spent fifty bucks. My arm is sore from carrying two plastic bags of groceries all the way home. I really pigged out yesterday.

“Thanks for getting my bus pass, now everything is taken care of.”

Jacques said, “I can’t go to your place, I still have to get my pills.”

“Shit, that’s something I forgot to do, get my pills.”

Chester got up to leave. “I’ll be back.” he said, “I just have to pay my Rogers bill.”

“Dammit!” said Jack, “I got a Rogers bill at home that I haven’t paid. I forgot all about that. I hope they don’t cut off my TV.”


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