Reblogged from Barb Rowe

Posted: August 24, 2013 in Prose
Tags: , ,

“SHE SURVIVED” it all.

Posted on August 22, 2013 by 

bigstock-Battered-woman-lies-lifelessly-27172106I have not addressed this issue in a long time, but felt compelled to share with you food for thought.

There is a woman who doesn’t really know what functional really is, pertaining to marriage.   A woman who has not really had a home to compare anything to, so she accepts whatever life throws her way…Complacent.  Abuse becomes part of her daily life, not believing it gets any better, or that she deserves any better.

One day she is going on with her daily routine of being a housewife and her husband, who is usually drinking….Snaps.  There is no apparent reason for it, but it just happens. Police come and he spends the night in jail, only to come home apologizing for what he had done, or pretends nothing ever happened the night before. The day after, varies, depending on his mood.

Finally one day she has enough and has the courage to leave him and begin a new life and things SEEM to be changing for the better.  She’s living with her best friend, dates occasionally and believes in herself again….If she ever did!

The night before her 40th birthday, she decides to drive to a town at the base of the mountain where she lived.  Her friend pleads for her not to go, because the roads may have ice on them and it had started to snow…but she was use to driving in that kind of weather.  On a narrow lonely road she had driven hundreds of times in all seasons, her car begins to swerve on the road.  She wished she had listened to her friend, for it was quickly becoming very nasty weather.  She pulls her car over thinking it doesn’t sound right, so she gets out of the car to check under the hood, keeping the car running and the headlights on.

Now keep in mind, the mountains had been her home for quite a long time, so she felt confident that someone she knew would drive by and see her.  While looking under the hood of her car, out of no-where, a man appears, asking if he can assist.  There seemed to be no car around;  Maybe he was a local farmer checking on his cattle, or mending a fence, that was common;  Nothing out of the ordinary.   A glance at the man, then continuing looking under her hood while she babbled on what she thought could be wrong.

She could hear herself screaming and struggling with the man, as though she was watching a horror movie; Outside herself, watching from a distance. They slid down the bank on the backside of the car, so no one from the road could see them.  Her head was pounding, she was in pain, he was angry and her screaming only made him more determined to proceed.   At that moment, she began to pray out load, in spite of what was being done to her, believing praying out loud would distract him.  Whether or not it did, she wasn’t to know until much later, because she was drifting in and out of consciousness. The snow and ice was coming down full force and she was coming in and out of consciousness, gradually crawling to the headlights of the car.

Now at this point, you would think someone would stop right away, but they didn’t, because it appeared seeing her bloody nude body in the furry of the storm, it was a dead deer, someone had hit, so…NO ONE stopped…Not for 2 hours.   Eventually someone DID stop.

I’ll not continue the details, but to tell you this……

A few years later, this same woman was taking self-defense, a strong supporter of the fight against domestic violence, a journalist for a local newspaper, on an exclusive article about her story, which reached large cities across the state.  Local Sheriffs departments were offering self-defense tips to women in seminars, cell phones became more common;  Way before this age of technology.  Through all this, her greatest accomplishment was to write in an article;   That enraged the men in the county, because domestic violence was brushed under the table there,   Everyone was related to someone, so no-one spoke out.

Her words were:

We as a Country expect our men to protect our country and to protect us from intruders in our homes.  Who protects us from the danger within our homes?  Who?  How does society expect a battered woman to successfully raise her children  to be responsible citizens, when they are surrounded by these horrific acts?  How do we teach our sons and daughters, this is not acceptable, or build their self-esteem, when we have none?  Only when We as a whole PEOPLE, can we stop the viscous chain of events coming full circle.

As a woman, a fighter, a mother………..”SHE SURVIVED” it all.

  1. Reblogged this on Flutterby Inspirationals and commented:
    About stories less often told…


    • songtothesirens says:

      Stories which should be told more often. I am recently out of an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship which I should have seen coming but didn’t. Now, I have to somehow pull myself back up like I have so many times before. And I was mentally healthy when I entered this relationship. Now, not so much.

      All forms of abuse leave scars, some permanent, others that can be healed. But, first, someone needs to tell their story….


      • I absolutely agree.
        Congrats on getting out, I have become passionate about letting people(especially women) know that we are worth more and that we are not defined by what others say or do to or about us.

        Tell the story, break the hold of ignorance!


      • songtothesirens says:

        I am working towards actually writing the story in a post on my blog where it can reach the people that follow it, and anyone else who stumbles across it. Yeah, getting out was hard, I must started packing 3 or 4 times, but couldn’t figure out the funding part. Along comes my absolutely beautiful mother to help me after the “deal breaker” fight when I finally decided once and for all that I was not going to put up with him anymore. I don’t know who was more shocked me or him. I think him. I don’t think he thought I would leave. He was wrong.


  2. songtothesirens says:

    That could have been written for so many women. Women also need to learn how to recognize the signs of emotional abuse and verbal abuse without physical violence. They go through the same abuse cycle as physical abuse does, but its much harder to see. A lot of times. women will say to themselves that they are getting a little heavy (when they are not), they will say to themselves that he was having a bad day, he really didn’t mean what he said. They will come up with all manner of reasons why they SHOULD be treated or spoken to in an abusive way. Inevitably, self-worth goes out the window along with self-respect, personhood, self-esteem and many other healthy self-thoughts and feelings.

    Verbal and mental abuse are insidious and hard to notice. Gradually, though it wears the woman down, and she feels stuck and helpless to leave. I like her question: Men are supposed to protect the country and the home…..who is supposed to protect women from them?


  3. This hits so very close to home. Society does very little to change it. My argument stands that being a single mom is the best way to get the kids better examples of respect for themselves and their mother. Only then can we expect changes that are significant. Abuse is NOT acceptable! !


  4. Reblogged this on Straight Ahead Outreach and commented:
    Great closing paragraph! True indeed and very well stated!


  5. kalabalu says:

    Very inspiring


  6. toad (chris jensen) says:

    I have often found that most women are fighters…

    Life on the street in your end of the world seems more hectic than here in Vancouver?


    toad (chris jensen)


  7. 2ssimington says:

    So glad I read your post and so glad the ending of this story was not as horrible as I expected. I hope more women(including me) attend self-defense seminars. Thank you for reminding us that some do survive.


  8. Zelda Veild says:

    Perhaps because I’m a woman, I view domestic violence as the Great Scourge on our nation, culture (the world). To me, nothing is worse–the damage takes lives and dreams and sanity and hope, and the ripple effect of the damage bleeds a huge spreading lake for generations. I was smart enough to get out, as I saw the escalation beginning–so, in that respect I’m a survivor. But my trust was permanently destroyed, so that I made the choice to live alone forever. Now, that’s fine–I’m good at being alone, and don’t suffer loneliness; however, it’s still a significant loss–I would have liked to be in a happy healthy marriage where love was the hallmark of every day. I deserved that.


  9. Floating on Tiptoes says:

    As an ex battered wife it infuriates me that so many men are willing to abuse and beat their wives and children. They think it’s their right to treat their “belongings” as they will. They think that by exerting their power over someone defenceless makes them somehow more powerful. They are sick, and the penalties for domestic abusers should be harsher.

    At the time I was in an abusive marriage being almost beaten to death and hospitalised regularly, including having two babies beaten out of me during pregnancy, I had nowhere else to go. I approached the leadership team at my church comprised of all men and begged them to intervene. They told me that it was a personal issue and they couldn’t get involved. So with that healthy piece of advice I endured more beatings with what my ex-husband considered, the approval of the church. There is little wonder that domestic violence has reached crisis point. The attitude towards it is one of complacency in many circles. Bet that would change quickly if the tables were turned and it was the men being beaten!


    • dcardiff says:

      I can’t take any credit for this post, but I thought it important to pass along. I know too many women who have suffered domestic violence. Some have suffered permanent back injury, others have been left for dead, in a pool of their own blood. I agree, “the penalties for domestic abusers should be harsher”. ~ Dennis


  10. yellipictures says:

    Reblogged this on YelliPictures.


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