Fuck Puppet – 22 October 2012

Posted: November 2, 2013 in Dialog, Prose
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,




22 October 2012

When I arrived at Joy’s spot this morning, she said, “Man, am I glad to see you. Have a seat on my cushion, it’s warm. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

When she got back I asked her, “How was your weekend?”

“It was quiet. I don’t know what was going on with my stomach, but I couldn’t keep anything down. I made some really good soup in my crock pot. We had leftover chicken, I added veggies, rice and noodles, but I couldn’t even keep that down. Most of the weekend I slept or watched TV from my bed.”

“How has Chester been?” I asked.

“He was okay Saturday until he went to the Mission for his supper. When he came home he started coughing. I said to him, ‘Chester, now is the time to cut back on the cigarettes for a while.’ He chain smokes, one right after another. When he coughs he makes a really loud noise, like a dog barking, so I didn’t get much sleep last night.

“This morning, he got up just after I did. First thing, he had a cigarette, then the coughing started again. I said to him, ‘Have some chicken soup and rest for the day.’ He said he would. He may come down and visit with the boys for a while.”

“Did anything happen after I left Friday,” I asked.

“Not much, I got into it with red-haired Debbie.”

“It was funny — some of the government ladies, who come out for a smoke, saw us. They were talking to me today. They asked, ‘What was going on between you and that woman? We thought you were going to kill her. It was hilarious.’ I said, ‘I’m glad I was able to provide you some entertainment. I wouldn’t have killed her, but I would have come close.’ Jake had HIV, but he must have full-blown AIDS by now.’ They asked, ‘What did you have against her?’ I said, ‘Do you mean besides the fact that she’s a fuck puppet for all the guys, and has a big mouth?’ They asked, ‘What do you mean by that?’ I said, ‘She’s slept with Chester, Andre, Little Jake –I don’t know about Jacques — anyone else that’s been around. She has AIDS and doesn’t use condoms. She has AIDS and doesn’t use condoms. Frank had HIV, but he must have full-blown AIDS by now.’

“I said to the ladies, ‘You should see me with the guys. I don’t take shit from anybody. If someone gets smart with me they’ll get either a punch, or a kick in the head. I can take care of myself, believe me.’ They said, they thought I could.”

“By the way, Andre may be in jail now. Chester saw him coming out of the liquor store. As soon as he cracked his bottle, two security guards grabbed him. I’ve told him before, ‘If you boost a seven dollar and forty-five cent bottle of sherry and lose your freedom, is that a good trade?’ ”

I said, “He told me he never boosted from liquor stores, well, only once.”

“It was more than once, believe me.”

At noon the curbs were crowded. On one side was Gnome, Connie, Glenda, Shakes, Andre and Weasel. On the other side was Hippo, Jacques, Joy, Chester and Little Jake.

Joy made room for me on the curb and Jacques gave me a copy of the Metro to sit on. Joy was talking to the group, “I was told by a lady cop that, in their opinion, one of Ottawa’s finest is a serial killer, responsible for the murders of prostitutes over the last ten years. It would make sense — a person with power and authority, armed.”

“How about the cop that beat you up, Joy?” asked Andre.

“I didn’t report it. I went through that in Toronto, I didn’t want to go through it again.”

I asked , “What happened with Andre?”

“He was charged. He’ll have to appear in court.

“I grew up with this guy. His name was Luke. He was a handsome guy, but he became a tranny — called himself Lucy. He made a gorgeous woman, but a guy can never hide his adam’s apple. He was out with a guy who thought he was a chick. When the guy found out, he killed him.

“I knew a lot of transvestites in Toronto. They were really nice to me — invited me to all their parties. I was a fat chick, but I was cute. The apartment they lived in was beautiful, draped fabric in the living room, like a tent. It was really over the top, but nice. Someone handed me a pellet shaped lump of hash. I said, ‘What do I do with this?’ The guy said, go into the bathroom and take it like a suppository, up your ass. It will give you a body high as opposed to a head high.’ I went into the bathroom, but I put the hash in my purse. I didn’t want to be any more fucked up than I was. When I came out of the bathroom the guy asked me, ‘How does it feel?’ I said, ‘It feels a little uncomfortable.’ He said, ‘You must be a virgin.’ People kept handing me this stuff. They were stoned, but I put it all in my purse. By the end of the evening I had a half ounce of hash. I didn’t need to hook at all.”

Weasel said, “Do you remember that cop we called Sasquatch? I met this woman at the Mission, we started getting it on, then she invited me over to her apartment. A while later we heard a loud knock on the door. I’m standing in my underwear. She opens the door and it’s Sasquatch, all seven-foot two of him. The woman was his former girlfriend. When he got through with me, even my socks were soaked with blood. Has anyone seen him around?”

Andre said, “He’s in Cornwall. He’s my uncle. I can remember we were at a party one time. He leaned on the apartment door — the whole thing came down and went through the door opposite. He was standing there looking sheepish. The people from across the way were dumbfounded. He said, “I guess I shouldn’t lean on doors any more.”

Joy yelled across the sidewalk to Glenda, “What are you drinking?”

“Wiser’s, Devil’s Cut.”

joy said, “Would you mind keeping it under your sweater, or in your bag. The cops come here regularly. I wouldn’t want to see you to get a ticket and have to pour out your whiskey.”

To me she said, “Look at Sparky, he’s laying in the middle of the sidewalk. This crowd is just asking for trouble. In a few minutes, I’m moving down about twenty feet to where the benches used to be.

“Glenda, Debbie and Gnome drank all Shakes’ sherry, smoked all his cigarettes and all his pot. Now that they have whiskey, do you think they’re going to share with him? No way! Glenda asked me where the liquor store was. I told her, ‘Go straight down Albert, two blocks to Metcalfe. You’ll see the World Exchange on your right. Go inside, it’s the first store on the left. You can’t miss it.’ She asked, ‘Will you come with me?’ I said, ‘No, for one thing I’m barred, for another I have everything I need, besides that,  I don’t know you.’ With her size she’d be slow getting up. I should be able to get a few shots in, but if she caught hold of me I’d be in trouble. What do you think?

“Actually when I look around, there aren’t too many people here I would trust. Jake may remember something, sometime, and just blurt it out. Hippo is too soft. Andre and Jacques, I don’t know. Shakes, I’d trust him with my life, in fact I have. He stood up to Big Jake to protect me, until I told him to just stay down. There was no point in both of us taking a beating. Nobody could take on Jake.”

To Chester Joy said, “When you leave, I’m going to give you my cigarettes to take home. Andre’s been bumming off me all day, so has Shakes.”


  1. You breathe such life into these amazing personalities!! I really enjoy reading your posts¶ Dennis.


    • Thanks for giving me credit, but I only chronicle what I hear. These are amazing people, with unique personalities and stories to tell. I’m sure there are similar people are in every city. It only takes the will to find them. ~ Dennis


  2. Sometimes these leave a tear in my eye, sometimes laughing out loud. Maybe a good book!? 🙂


    • I have the same reaction when I hear these conversations in person.

      The image on your Gravatar looks like a Toronto streetcar. I’ve spent many hours riding the ‘Red Rockets’. Like you I’m “an ‘aging radical’, trying to help change the world.” ~ Dennis



  3. You know, Dennis. Your stories could really make a good “life history” book. I mean the educational kind similar to the ones my wife had to read as an anthropology major in college. (e.g,, The Untouchables– about the prostitutes in the caste system of India.) Have a good one.


    • Yes, many of these women rely on prostitution to supplement their income. It would involve more in depth interviews, but it could happen in future. It’s a great idea, thanks. ~ Dennis


  4. leewriter says:

    Nice job of injecting intrigue, style and energy into these people’s stories. I loved Sasquatch falling through two doors within seconds. Very funny. All the struggles over resources — cigarettes, sherry, liquor, sexual gratification — it reminds me of my “Breaking Bad” (JOIN THE REVOLUTION: SOBRIETY BY TAMING YOUR EGO) blog. The main difference is that the “Bad” characters fight over a bigger pile of of assets — hundreds of thousands or more in drug money — as opposed to a pack of cigarettes or bottle of sherry/cheap liquor. But for homeless people, their idea of value is much different than others in higher socioeconomic classes.


    • Hi Lee, I’m a big “Breaking Bad Fan” I enjoyed your analysis, I’ll watch this episode again. I’m also interested in “Overcome Any Personal Obstacle, Including Alcoholism, By Understanding Your Ego”. I’m, having a bit of a problem with Lulu, but I’ll get that straightened out. ~ Dennis


  5. Fuck puppet..one step down from a fuck buddy?


  6. leamuse says:

    While living in New York, years ago, I was driving through Manhattan early one morning and saw the paddy wagon driving around and putting people who had frozen during the night into body bags then into the wagon. An image one cannot forget.


  7. SlayerGrey says:

    Wow. Your words make these people come to life, truly. Their hardship, their wisdom.
    Wonderful. You’ve got a new fan.


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