Pee Like a Chick! – 10 December 2013

Posted: December 10, 2013 in Dialog, Prose
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,




10 December 2013

Snow was blowing, my face was covered by a scarf. Blizzards had been reported in the out-lying areas. Joy was  wrapped like a mummy, with only her eyes showing. She pulled down her scarf and said, “Hi Sunshine, did ya miss me?”

“Of course I did. How have you been feeling?”

“I’m okay. Jake got out on Monday instead of on the second. He’s got his electric wheelchair, so he’s zipping around all over. He’s got a new parole officer. He doesn’t like her, but who ever likes their parole officers?”

“Yeah,” I said, “it’s not as if they’ve won a personality contest.”

“He’s got to meet with her at nine. He’ll be coming down here.”

I asked, so how has it been with him back?”

“Lousy, sometimes he’ll come in at three-thirty in the morning. He came at eight yesterday morning. I said to him, ‘You got to quit doing this. I’ve got a life.  I’ve got things to do.’ He comes in, eats, then wants to go to sleep. I told him, ‘This ain’t no flop-house. Come over when you’re ready to stay awake.’

“He doesn’t pick up after himself. I had the place all scrubbed. I walked into the bathroom and there’s a puddle in front of the toilet. I mentioned it to him. He said, “Maybe the toilet’s leaking.’ I said, “Jake, the puddle is yellow. It’s not the toilet that’s leaking. if you can’t hit the bowl, you’ll just have to sit and pee like a chick.’ So he does. Hell, I can stand up and pee into a toilet.  He’s got the proper equipment; I don’t see why it should be difficult for him. He said, ‘I’ve only been here a few days and already you’re nagging at me.’ I said, pick up after yourself, do your share and we won’t have a problem.

“Here he comes now. See the size of him?”

I turned and saw a huge bearded man in a wheelchair.  “Hi,” I said, “you must be Jake. I’m Dennis.”

“Hi, Dennis, I’ve heard a lot about you.” We shook hands.

Joy said to Jake, “I’m glad you’re here. I have to go for a pee.”

 I said, “I should head to work. I’ll see you, Joy, Frank.” We shook hands.


  1. Halim says:

    Hi Dennis, who’s the Frank in the last sentence?

    Thank you so much for this blog, for your writing about your friends.


    • Hi Halim, my friends are from every nationality, every ethnic background, every religion, every sexual preference. Some are ex-convicts, some convicts awaiting their prison sentence, some are prostitutes or ex-prostitutes, some are thieves, murderers; but most of all they are my friends. I don’t consider myself a Christian, but I like to think that I follow in the path of Jesus. We are all the same, we seek happiness and an end to suffering. Let us follow this path in human brotherhood. ~ Dennis


  2. As always, an amazing read. Joy is an incredible lady, very up front and truthful is how she has learned to be. I suppose that is humanity, when you can see the awkward side in circumstances that are not the best, but learn to express that anyway. The strength of the human will is a beautiful thing to see. And she has much will! Thank’s Dennis. Namaste


  3. JustJohn says:

    these stories must be told. your vocation is well done. carry on.


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