Rita Hayworth – 17 April 2014

Posted: April 17, 2014 in Dialog, Prose
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,





17 April 2014

“Good morning Chuck, it’s still cold . When are we going to get some Spring weather?”

“Well it’s better than the rain we had yesterday. I think the Man upstairs is playing tricks on us. Maybe, he had too much to drink, woke up with a hangover and got his seasons mixed up. He forgot that Christmas was supposed to be cold and Easter, warm. I’m not religious, but I’m, afraid of the alternative. If I make the wrong choice I don’t want to spend an eternity in hell.

“People have said to me that I must be here for a purpose, but I lay awake nights trying to figure out that purpose. I’ve died nine times on the operating table, they keep bringing me back. If I miss one heart pill, everything backs up and I’ll be dead. The only problem with those heart pills is I have to piss a lot more often. In a wheelchair that can be awkward. People keep bringing me coffee and I have to keep going to the bathroom.

“Women seem to like me. I always have a joke for them; flatter them a bit. Maybe that’s why I’m here.  A nice looking woman walked by earlier. She was wearing one of those light dresses. I don’t know what kind of fabric it was.  Just after she passed,  the wind whipped it up around her waist. I enjoyed that. There was another one wearing a see through top. She was gorgeous — really got my heart pounding.

“I like to watch the old movies on TV. I remember when my son Chuck Junior  was about sixteen. There was a movie I was watching, Salome made back in 1953. The heroine was  wearing one of those slinky, see through dresses. Chuck was full of raging hormones and said, ‘Man, I’d like to do her!’ I said, ‘You’re a little  late, she died of Alzheimer’s  in 1987. Her name was Rita Hayworth.

“I asked my friends the other day if they’d rather watch a movie starring Archibald Alexander Leach or Cary Grant. They said, ‘Cary Grant!’ I said, ‘So would I, it’s the same person.’  Rita Hayworth was born Margarita Carmen Cansino. Tony Curtis was  Bernard Schwartz.

“Something nice happened at the mall yesterday. I went to the Thai place in the food court. It was late in the day.  I’ve gotten to know the owner, he’s a nice guy. I ordered  the stir fry. Anyway, he gave me three servings, then didn’t charge me. I was still so full later on, I could hardly watch TV. I fell asleep during the hockey game.

“This morning, I didn’t get downtown until six thirty. I spent about a half hour in front of Tim Horton’s then came over here. On my way I stopped at McDonald’s for coffee.  Whenever I go there I buy a couple extra packages of hash browns. I give them to the girl at the convenience store, she’s always running late and doesn’t have time for breakfast. She gives me a newspaper.

“Yesterday I went to pick up my glasses. I spent about a half hour on the bus getting there. They told me that my glasses were made, but they wouldn’t be delivered to the store until four o’clock. This was at one. I went to Wal-Mart, got some spring pants and a jacket for a good price. It’s right across from the dog groomers, so I took Goldie in for a trim. I’ll have to be here every day next week to make up for the money I spent.










  1. agnomely says:

    This was a joy to read. Thank you!


  2. ravenjets says:

    Thanks Dennis. I like Chuck and his musings very much.


  3. My Tropical Home says:



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