Pigeons – 15 May 2014

Posted: May 15, 2014 in Dialog, Prose
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,




15 May 2014

“Hi Two-four,” I asked,” do you have your hangover planned?”

“Starting at ten thirty; that’s the plan. Actually, I don’t drink that much any more. A buddy and I are going out for a few beer. It’s not like when I was young; I could tell you a few stories, man.”

“I”d love to hear them sometime. Have a good day.”

“You too, Dennis.”

“Hi, Joy! How are you feeling?”

“Okay, my legs are sore.”

“Is that from your fibromyalgia?”

“Yeah, that and arthritis. My allergies are really bad too. Everybody I talk to about allergies has the same problem, we’re being bombarded from all sides, pollen, mold that was under the snow, dogs, cats. I love dogs and cats. I was at Mariah’s place patting Precious and, without thinking, I rubbed my eye. It nearly swelled shut, then tears came running down my face. You know that covering that’s over your eyeball. If my allergies are bad that swells up like a blister. Not a pretty site.

“Shoo, damn pigeons! I hate those birds. They’re worse than shithawks. I’ve been coughing up this horrible green stuff since the pneumonia. After you’ve had it once you’re always susceptible. Anyway, I horked up a real goober and spat  on this pigeon.  It didn’t even move; they’re that lazy.

“Can you keep my seat warm. I haven’t had a pee since I came down this morning.”

“Sure. “

“Okay I’m back. Did you make anything?

“No, I’m not lucky today. So how is Mariah?”

“I don’t know. I’ve only seen her a couple of times. I don’t like her when she’s drunk. She was at my place,  drinking her vodka straight. Hippo was over too. For some reason she picked up his backpack. I don’t know what that was about. He said, “Hey, leave my backpack alone.” She got him in a headlock. I separated them, then she tried to get me in a headlock. I said, “That’s not gonna happen.” That’s her favorite; grab someone by the hair, put them in a headlock, then punch them in the face. So, I kicked her out, haven’t seen her since.”

I said, “Chuck was telling me that he’s having problems with his wheelchair.”

“That’s bullshit. Those chairs are ten thousand dollars. He didn’t buy it, he’s renting it. If anything happens, the company is responsible for repairs. If he’s having problems he just needs to talk to his worker. It’ll get sorted.

“Jake was having trouble with his chair. There was something wrong underneath, and the hand control wasn’t working. It’s always pulled to the right since he got it. The company picked it up, fixed it, brought it back. No problem.

“It’s the same with the vet bills that Chuck pays. Goldie is a service dog, she’s covered by our medical plan. You’ve just got to know the system. It’s not that difficult.

“I asked, “How is Jake?”

“He’s getting to be a pain in the ass. I’m going to have to kick him out for a while.”

“How about his hip operation? Has that been scheduled yet?”

“He was supposed to have that fixed before he went into prison, but he pissed around, never got it done. He’s been on the priority list since he got out and he’s missed three appointments. They’re going to stop scheduling him if he doesn’t show up when he’s supposed to. I’ve given up. It’s his problem.”


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