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23 May 2014
Unpredictable, that’s the only way one can describe the weather for today. Chuck said he wouldn’t be here today because rain was forecast. It rained last night. Thunderstorms are predicted for sometime today. Now, the sun is shining. Joy’s spot is empty, but Chuck is on the corner.
“Hi Chuck, do you know what time it is? I left my watch at home.”
“I had a cheap watch one time. It lasted me ten years, didn’t even have to replace the battery. I received a hundred-dollar watch, as a gift — within a year it was shot. I bought this one for nine ninety-five at Giant Tiger it’s already lasted me three years. It’s eight twenty-five. Did you see Joy?”
“No, she’s not at her spot. All her things are gone.”
“She was there earlier. I don’t know where she’s gone. There’s Sharon across the street. Her picture was in the paper last night with her arms around one of the drivers. He crashed and died later on. She works at the Speedway, always has been interested in racing.
“Dennis!” someone hollered.
I looked across the street and Joy was waving both arms in the air. I walked across the street. “Hi Joy. I walked past earlier. I didn’t see you.”
“Hi, hic, I had to pee. I’ve had the hiccups for the last two hours, hic. Dumbass is supposed to be coming down later. The service man for his wheelchair is going to meet him. The service call costs fifty bucks, he has that, but want’s to borrow three fifty from me for smokes. I don’t know where I’m supposed to meet him. I’ll give him a call.
“Hi, are you still alive? I had a really good morning. I had a drop of forty bucks. Do you still need the three fifty for smokes. Where shall we meet. I’m going to the park, why not meet me there…. You want me to take the bus all the way over there, just to come back downtown again?….Don’t yell at me! I didn’t do anything wrong!… Okay, I’ll see you there.” She hung up the phone.
“Asshole!” yelled Joy. “He wants me to meet him at the Sally. He knows how I feel about that place. I was raped there last Christmas.” Tears filled her eyes.
I said, “I saw Shakes last night, we were on the same bus. I also saw him at noon yesterday. He was walking with his daughter.”
“Which daughter?”
“Betty.”
“I haven’t seen her since she was beat up by her boy friend. She’s the one with three kids. How was Shakes? Had he been drinking?”
“He was fine, we had a long talk. He was heading to Little Jake’s place, but he was drinking on the bus.”
Joy said, “Jake told me he’s not supposed to drink while he’s on antibiotics. That rash will never clear up. Have you seen it? A real mess. I don’t know what he’s got. It could be impetigo, that’s contagious, shingles — I’ve had shingles, it’s because of chicken pox.”
I said, “I’ve looked up skin viruses on the internet. There are a lot of them, some very serious that take months to heal.
“Do you know what time it is?”
Joy yelled, “Hey!” About five pedestrians turned around. Joy pointed to her wrist. “What time is it?”
A guy stopped, looked at his watch and said, “Eight forty.”
Joy said to me, “I better get going. I have to catch the bus. I’ll see you Monday.”
“See you Monday.”
I walked back across the street to see Chuck.
He asked, “Is Joy alright?”
“Yeah, she’s just going to meet Jake. She’s not very happy about that.”
Chuck said, “I’ve got a joke for you. There was this beautiful woman who walked into a movie theater. She sat in the middle of the back row. A guy sat beside her. Before long he he slowly slid his hand up her thigh. She had her money tucked into her garter belt. He grabbed the money, then ran out. They caught the guy and they both had to appear in court. The woman explained to the judge what happened. The judge asked, ‘Why did you allow this man to put his hand up your skirt?’ The woman said, “Well, you honor, I didn’t think he was after my money.’
“Here’s another one… A man and a woman, he just met, walk into a hotel room. Before she gets undressed the woman reached through the neck of her sweater and pulled out two shoulder pads and threw them in the corner of the room. Next she reached under her sweater, pulled out two false breasts, threw them in another corner. She reached under her skirt, unhitched her false leg and leaned it in another corner. The guy said, “When you get to the part that I’m after, be sure to throw it my way.’ “
“That’s funny, Chuck, I’d better be going.”
“Wait, wait, I’ve got another one… He looks around to see if anybody else is listening then says, ” A man and a woman walked into a movie theater. The man was wearing a toupee. They started to become amorous and the man’s toupee fell into the woman’s lap… Have you heard this one…He felt around in the dark for a while. The woman starts breathing heavy and says, that’s it … that’s it...THAT’S IT! ‘ The man said, “No, I don’t think so, mine’s parted at the side.’ Ha ha ha.”
” Chuck, I’ll see you on Monday. Have a good weekend.”
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