Fat Bitch – 18 July 2014

Posted: July 18, 2014 in Dialog, Prose
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,




18 July 2014

I had to stand in line to talk with Chuck today. A lady was asking him about Goldie. Chuck never runs out of things to say about her.

“Hi Chuck,” I said, “how was your trip?”

“The trip was good, at least ninety percent of it. We drove along the St. Laurence River, just a leisurely drive in the country. Then, some fat bitch, and I mean fat bitch on a bicycle, listening to her headphones, weaving all over the highway. She had a stop sign, but she didn’t stop, just turned in front of our car. My lady friend was driving. She slammed on the brakes, the tires screeched and we stopped about a foot away from the bicycle. The woman turns towards us and gives us the finger. We’d just saved her life. If I’d been driving I would have run over her. There would have been skid marks where I tried to stop, but it wouldn’t have been my fault.

“It’s the same with the bicycles that I see passing this corner. I can count on one hand the number who actually follow the traffic rules. It’s no wonder we have so many accidents involving bicycles. They just don’t care. They have the support of our illustrious mayor. He sets up counters, to determine how many bicycles use certain routes. They just ride in circles to inflate the numbers.

“Another think that pisses me off is the amount of money the city pays towards the baseball and football stadiums. Then there’s the libraries and the Art Center. They’ve got a better idea in the States. If someone wants a library they canvas  the  rich people for donations. It shouldn’t be paid for by you and me, who can’t even afford the ticket prices. I know they bring in some revenue, but they still have to be subsidized. When was the last time you went to the Art Center. For me it was to see the Everly Brothers. That was a long time ago.”

I said, “I’ll be on vacation next week, so I won’t be seeing you, but I’ll see you the following Monday.”

“Okay, Dennis, I’ll see you after your holiday. Have a good trip.

“Bye, Chuck.”


  1. jaredjgober says:

    I felt as if I was there with you when this happened! Your story telling is amazing. I hope to one day be able to do what you do. I enjoy reading your blog. Keep up the AWESOME work! -THE REGULAR Blog


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