Richard the Lionheart – 29 July 2014

Posted: July 29, 2014 in Dialog, Prose
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

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29 July 2014

“Good morning, Chuck,” I said.

“Good morning. Boy, am I glad to see you. So far, today has been miserable. I didn’t sleep well last night. I had three things to do: feed Goldie, take my pills, take her for a walk. I fried some liver in margarine — I left it a little rare, but no blood coming out — then washed it under the  hot water tap to get the grease off. I chopped it and put it in Goldie’s bowl.  Liver has lots of iron in it, it’s good for her. I know, a lot of people think liver and make a face, she likes it. I took my heart pills, ate a banana to get my potassium , then took Goldie out for her walk. One thing I forgot to do was to take my sleeping pill. It took about an hour to kick in. Finally, I got to sleep. I woke an hour late, so I had to rush to get down here. I went to the coffee shop to go to the bathroom. Boy, was that a mistake. A woman, who I see regularly called to me and I had a hell of a time getting away from her. I got to my spot here, didn’t even have a chance to get my cap out, when another woman, stopped right in front of me. I’ve known her for a long time, but she never gives me anything. As she was standing there one of my regulars, who usually drops me a twenty, walked right by. He couldn’t get near me because of this stupid woman!

“Goldie is feeling a bit sluggish because of all she ate last night. She’ll be fine after she walks some of it off. One thing I’ve got to look forward to is I’m being taken out for lunch.

“Goldie, back! Service dog, special just like you. That’s a good girl. You stay here.”

A man with a white cane said, “Good morning!”

Chuck said, “Good morning.  Walk a little to your left, you’re outside the lines for the cross walk. A little more to the left. Okay, you’re fine now.

“I’ve had my differences with him. Well, not with him exactly, it’s just our dogs don’t get along. Anyway, he got across.”

A woman stopped to pat Goldie. She said to Chuck, “I work with Dennis.”

Chuck said, “That’s unfortunate for you.”

A bicycle, moving fast, crossed the corner of the sidewalk, sloped for easy access by wheelchairs, nearly hit Goldie. “Hey, get off the sidewalk!” yelled Chuck. “Those sons of bitches don’t give a damn about anyone but themselves. We were on a path by the river and two bicycled came towards us. They wouldn’t move out of the way. They expected me to move. Remember a while back, a small boy was hit by two bicycles racing along one of the paths. He ended up with scrapes on his leg and, I think, a broken arm. Do you think anything was done about that? No, sir. They said, ‘We’re sorry.’ A lot of good that did. They should have been charged for assault with a deadly weapon. I get pissed off just thinking about it.

“See that woman wearing the short skirt, riding the bicycle. At least she’s obeying the rules. She must be cold with all that leg showing. If I were a few years younger I wouldn’t mind warming her. That reminds me of a joke. You’ve heard of King Arthur, Guenevere and Sir Lancelot. That’s a good name for him. Anyway, King Arthur was going off to war. He locked a chastity belt on Guenevere, then handed the key to his loyal, trusted friend Lancelot. Before the king had even ridden out of town, Lancelot came charging after him. ‘Your highness,’ he said, ‘there’s been a mistake. You gave me the wrong key!’ What do you think of that?

“You know, there is all this talk about the Holy Grail, made of silver, that Arthur’s soldiers went on the Crusades to find.  I’m a Catholic, but there was no silver cup. Sure there was Jesus and the Apostles at the Last Supper, but they were poor men. They couldn’t afford silver. The Crusades took place for the same reason that a lot of wars took place. The army was bored and they hungered for loot. They were clean-shaven, Muslims wore beards. They wanted to kill any man with a beard and take everything he had.

“Have you heard about the battle with Saladin? He was a leader of the Muslims. The battle for Jerusalem went back and forth. First Saladin took it. When his soldiers entered the city of Jerusalem, they were not allowed to kill civilians, rob people or damage the city.

While in control of Acre, Richard the Lionheart, leading the Christians, massacred 2000 Muslim soldiers who they had captured. Saladin had agreed to pay a ransom for them but somehow there was a breakdown in the  process of payment and Richard ordered their execution. He had their heads cut off, every last one of them, man woman and child. That’s religion for you. That’s the glory of England.”

“I have to go, Chuck. Take care, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye, Dennis, see you tomorrow.”

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Comments
  1. neelkanth says:

    AN INTERESTING NARRATIVE OF THE ROUTINE.

    Like

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