Archive for August 14, 2014




14 August 2014

Good morning, Chuck, have you had any news about your new wheelchair?”

“No, the guy hasn’t called. I talked to him a couple of days ago and I thought every thing was settled, but maybe there was a misunderstanding. I’m going over there later to check. I was hoping to get one in blue, but I’d have to wait until September. I’ll  make do with a white one.”

I said, “I read that in the United States they have more people incarcerated than any other country.”

Chuck said, “I heard of a guy who stole a chocolate bar and ended up spending thirty-five years in jail. This was down east somewhere. He was starving, went into a convenience store and stole a bar, what he didn’t know was that way in the back corner was a post office.  So, he’s committed a federal offence. He was given jail time, while he was inside there was a prison break. He just went along with everyone else and they tacked another five years on. He had fights in jail and kept getting more time added to his sentence until it totaled sixteen years.”

I said, “It costs the government and the taxpayers a lot of money to keep someone in jail, especially over a chocolate bar.”

Chuck asked, “Have you heard of the Stop Watch Gang?  It was three guys from around here. I knew one of them.  They were known for robbing banks in 90 seconds or less and getting away with no trace. The group got nicknamed ‘The Stopwatch Gang’ by the FBI because the gang leader was seen wearing  a stopwatch around his neck while on the job.  At first they were known for non-violent methods and politeness to victims. The gang’s story is recorded in several television documentaries and two books, This Bank Robber’s Life and Jackrabbit Parole.  My friend re-offended and was released a few years ago.

“There was another guy from around here who wrote a few books about his life in prison. One was Go Boy and the other was Bingo. I knew him too. He was a tough son of a bitch.

“I was taking Goldie for her walk last night and we nearly ran into a skunk. Luckily, I noticed it in time and we were able to slowly change directions. I passed a guy walking and mentioned the skunk to him. He said, “Why should I worry about a skunk?”  I noticed that he stayed clear though.

“I remember when I was a kid asleep on the back seat of the car. My dad drove over a skunk and the smell was almost overpowering. I stuck my head out the window, because I thought I was going to be sick. Dad stopped the car, hauled me inside and gave me a beating. He said that I ‘wasn’t acting manly’. He was the type who would walk up to a skunk and kick it.”