Rules – 10 October 2014

Posted: October 10, 2014 in Dialog, Prose
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

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10 October 2014

André said, “As soon as I finish my beer, we should head over to my place.”

Outcast asked, “Is it tidy? It looks really nice when all the garbage is off the floor.”

André said, “I had people over last night, so it’s a bit messy, but not too bad. Mariah and Joy were over. We had a great time. One of my friends is really shy. As soon as Joy found that out she threw herself all over the guy. He didn’t know what to do.

Mariah said, “I talked to Joy this morning at 10:00. She said she’d just woken up and had a horrible hangover, so she won’t be coming here today.”

Curt asked, “How is Joy, anyway?”

André said, “She’s complaining about a sore tendon in her leg. You can actually see it. It’s like a chicken foot, you pull on the tendon and the claws scrunch up. She said there’s no way she’s going to see the doctor. The last time she saw him he put her in hospital for a month and a half. I don’t know how she could stand it. I was in for two weeks and I nearly went nuts.

Last night, I couldn’t eat at all. I made a really good soup, but I put in too many hot peppers. When those peppers hit my stomach they came right back up again. Hippo ate enough for everybody. What does he weigh now? 240, 260? I gave him a ride on my bike yesterday. The suspension went right to the bottom.

“I’ve got to get my roommate straight on a few things. I told him this morning, ‘Either you start pulling your weight, or you’re outa here. I cooked a meal last night, what’s wrong with you doing the dishes? I did the laundry. Do you think that the washers, dryers and laundry soap is free? I have to pay for that stuff. It cost me ten bucks yesterday.’

“I put up a list of rules:

  1. Don’t be an asshole!
  2. No fighting.
  3. If you see something that doesn’t belong to you, don’t touch it.
  4. There is only one Queen around here (the cat). We don’t need any Drama Queens.
  5. If you make a mess, clean it up.
  6. Bring your own booze.
  7. Bring your own weed.
  8. Bring your own cigarettes.
  9. If you disagree with any of the above rules, see André.

 

 

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