Archive for November 6, 2014




6 November 2014

“Good morning, Dennis. I have something to tell you. It just happened. There’s a woman who passes every morning. She always says hello, but never drops me any money. That’s okay. This morning I said to her, ‘I’m going to say something to you. You may think I’m bad. You may even call me a sexist pig, but I think you’re beautiful. I wanted to say it.’ She laughed and handed me a five dollar bill. So what do you think? Am I a sexist pig?”

I said, “Well, Chuck, if you’re a sexist pig, so am I.”

“I have to laugh sometimes when I see these women’s groups. Their extremist views alienate many people who would otherwise support them. I know that some men are bastards, they beat women. I don’t know why the women stick around.  I know some prostitutes that come by. Some of them get beaten by their pimps. There’s no way a hundred pound woman can stand up to a two hundred pound, six-foot man.  I tell them, ‘Look, do your tricks, hand over the money to your pimp. Do that a couple of times. Go out again, do your tricks, collect the money then high tail it out of town. Take the first bus and get the hell away. That’s the only way to survive.

“Do you remember Rachelle, she died about four years ago?”

“No, I didn’t know her. What did she die of?”

“Cancer, but that’s not the point. When I was living downtown, I was on street level. Often she’d come by my place, it might be three o’clock in the morning. I’d invite her in, she’d take a shower, hop into bed with me and we’d sleep until morning. Then she’d be on her way. That went on for years. I was single. We both got what we wanted. What’s wrong with that. Like I said the other day, ‘The one who supplies the booze, controls the screws.’ Well, I was controlling the booze.

“These new prostitution laws are only going to make things worse. Prostitution has been around forever. It’s not going to be legislated away.”

“I agree, Chuck. By the way, I saw Magdalene last night, the former girlfriend of Alphonse who committed suicide.”

“I know who you’re talking about. Yeah, she’s lost weight.”

I said, “She was straight and sober and has a new boyfriend now.”

“Yeah, his name is Allan. He seems decent enough. I also saw her drunk with three other guys.

“What do you think of the Fort Lauderdale men who face sixty days in jail and a $500 fine for feeding the homeless?

“The world is going crazy, Chuck. What more can I say?”