Archive for May 15, 2015




15 May 2015

“Good morning, Chuck. How’s your day going?”

“Lousy,” said Chuck, “with the long weekend coming (In Canada, the third Monday of May is a statutory holiday, celebrating the birthday of Queen Victoria.) everybody’s taken the Friday off. The streets have been deserted all morning.

“Remember the crack-head I told you about who was harassing me. He tried the same thing with Nick… You know, round Nick with glasses, that’s the only way I can describe him.”

“Yeah,” I said, “I like Nick. He’s the one who makes and hands out sandwiches to anyone who’s hungry. I haven’t seen him for a while.”

“Anyway, this crack head came along and sat down beside Nick, He said to the guy, ‘Why don’t you move along? You’re cutting my grass and you’re not helping yourself either.’ Nick is easy to get along with. You never see him starting any trouble, but this time, he’d had enough. He stood up, walked over to the guy and smashed him in the face. He asked, ‘Are you ready to move now, or do you want some more?’ If it had been me I would have put the boots to the guy.”

I asked, “How’s Goldie been feeling?”

“She’s about the same as me. We’re both ready to call it quits.

“Last night I ate supper, turned on the television. I’ve been watching this five part spy series. I’ve really been enjoying it. I fell asleep and didn’t wake up until eleven. Now I won’t know what’s gone on. I’ve just wasted three hours of my life. There’s no point watching the end, it’s ruined for me. I don’t watch movies, because they come on too late.

“I was watching a western last weekend. It was a stupid story about Indians attacking a wagon train. In the last wagon were soldiers with a canon. The back of the wagon was covered with canvas so the Indians couldn’t see in. Well, they came whooping up behind the wagon, the soldiers opened the canvas and fired a shot. Of course, a lot of Indians were killed. They regrouped and charged the wagon a second time. When they saw the canvas moved aside they split into two groups, one on either side of the train. The canon was useless. The soldiers were sniping off Indians right and left. If they’d had any sense they’d have concentrated all their fire at the Chief. Without leadership the Indians would have dispersed.

“Have you heard that Nasty Nancy is back in town. I think she just got out of prison. I heard of a robbery at a women’s shelter. The first person I thought about was Nancy. Sure enough, I read about it in the newspaper this morning. She’s been charged.

“I remember one time she came up to me and said, ‘Chuck, you’re the only person who isn’t mean to me.’ She knelt down in front of me, put her head in my lap and fell asleep.”

I said, “Joy’s told me a lot of stories about her. They’ve been in a few fights together. Have you heard anything about a service for Joy?”

“No, I’m not in contact with a lot of people, but I’m sure that Rick would have something, if he had any news. We may never hear anything.

“I used to pan in front of  that big building down the street. There was this big shot in a pin-striped suit who would pass every morning and sneer down his nose at me. A couple of times a day I’d see him sneak out the side door, check the nearby pay phones for change, then walk up and down the sidewalks collecting butts — some big shot!”

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