Archive for June 2, 2015




6 June 2015

“Good morning, Chuck.”

“Where have you been? I haven’t seen you since last week.”

“I’ve been feeling sick. I notice that you don’t have Goldie with you.”

“She’s still home recuperating from her operation.”

“I also notice that you aren’t wearing your moustache.”

“You know, you’re the first person who’s noticed. I was trimming it the other day and I said to myself, “To hell with this shit.” I shaved it off. My friend says that it makes me look younger. Why would I want to look younger? I want to look the age I am!

A car horn honked, Chuck said, “Another one of those God damned cyclists. The nazi city counselors bend over backwards to make things easier for cyclists. As usual they have it all backwards. Priority should go first to cars, then to pedestrians, then to cyclists. It only makes sense. Have you heard about the number of pedestrians and cyclists killed in New York City?

“Based on monthly NYPD figures, 168 pedestrians and 10 cyclists were killed by city motorists in 2013, and 16,059 pedestrians and cyclists were injured.” (

“It’s because the pedestrians jump out  between parked cars all over the place. The cyclists ride on the sidewalks, wrong way on one-way streets, anywhere they’re not supposed to. There is a reason why we have traffic laws, but cyclists ignore them.

“I saw something nice this morning. They’re replacing tile near the food court. I just turned the corner in my wheelchair and saw the silhouette of a woman standing there. She had long legs spread, wearing tight jeans and a hard hat. I was tempted to go up to her and tell her how much I enjoyed the view. Then she bent down to lay tiles. That view was even better. She could lay twice as many as the men working around her.”

I said, “A lot of women are going into construction trades. I think it’s great. Women should rule the world.”

“I agree,” said Chuck, “they couldn’t make more of a mess that men have.

“I’m not going to stay here much longer. Can you see the blind man with the dog?”

“No, he’s not coming yet.”

Chuck said, “I’ll just wait until he gets here. I’m the only one who directs him across the street. His dog doesn’t know enough to keep him between the yellow cross walk lines and oncoming pedestrians won’t move out of the way. Why are people so god damned ignorant?”

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