Archive for June 8, 2015




8 June 2015

“Good morning, Chuck, “how was your weekend?”

“It was quiet. I met my friends at the mall. I couldn’t stay too long because they had the elevators shut down and one of the bathrooms. I had to go all the way to the far end of the mall. With the water pills I’m taking I have to pee often, that meant a lot of trips.

“I just got down here. It was raining when I woke up. I couldn’t even take Goldie for her walk. She needs about an hour outside but, like most animals, she won’t piss in the rain. She won’t even piss on the bridge She waits until we’ve crossed the bridge and reach a small patch of grass on the other side. It’s nearly stopped now, so maybe I can take her to the park.

“My friend from Cornwall went to some bake sale on the weekend. She phoned and said that she bought me a plate of brownies and  some date squares. I don’t know why people do this. My friend Sam does the same thing. He’ll say, “Have a cream puff, they’re really good.” I know he means well and I know they taste good,  but I have to say to him, “Sam, it doesn’t matter how good they taste. I’m on doctor’s orders to keep my weight down. If my weight goes up I die. Are you trying to kill me?”

“There are so many near accidents on this corner. The damn bicycles should be banned from downtown and the highways. My son rides a bicycle and he’s as bad as the rest of them. He rides on the sidewalk, stops short when nearing pedestrians, scaring the shit out of them, then laughing about it. I wouldn’t be surprised if some car driver, with road rage, mowed down a whole bunch of them. It’s happened before.”

Read more about my friends here