Lightning

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17 June 2015

“Good morning, Chuck.  How is Goldie feeling now? She’s looking more alert.”

“She’s doing better, still not eating very much and having trouble going to the bathroom. I’d know better on Friday when I take her to the vet. Then it’s to the spa to have her groomed for summer, have her claws clipped and all the other stuff they do.”

I said, “It’s amazing how intelligent dogs and other animals are. Goldie can sense when you’re about to have a heart seizure.”

“Yeah, that and she can tell when I’m angry or feeling down, She’ll snuggle up beside me, sometimes lick my face. She’s all I got.

“A fella told me a joke today. There were these two guys who were broke. They were trying to figure out what they could do to make money. The one guy said, ‘I’m not a bad salesman, but I got nothing to sell.’ The other guy said the only thing I’m good at is satisfying women. I can do fifty without even breathing hard.’ The other guy said, ‘That’s it, we’ll rent a hall and sell tickets advertising that you can satisfy fifty women.’ Well, the ticket sales went great. Then it came time for the big event. Fifty women were lined up and the fellow was going strong, then he hit twenty-five, started puffing a bit, at thirty he had to stop. His partner asked, ‘What’s the problem, you said you could satisfy fifty women. You’re not near there. People are demanding their money back.’ The other guy asked the women, ‘What is the problem? We did fine at rehearsal this afternoon.’

“That reminds me of a time when I was still with my wife. We went to a party and we both got drunk. My wife went to bed. I stayed up a little later. I woke up the next morning, my wife was next to the wall, I was in the middle and a red-head was lying next to me. We were all nude. I shook the redhead by the shoulder so we could get up before my wife awoke. In the living room were two other nude couples spread out on the floor.

“I almost wish that my wife had caught me that time. I spent five more years of misery before we finally got a divorce.”

A man stopped to drop two dollars into Chuck’s cap. He asked, ‘What are you going to do now, Chuck, basketball is over hockey is over. There won’t be anything for you to watch.”

Yeah, it’s all over. Lebron pooped out. He said to the newspapers:

“We ran out of talent.

“Tried as much as we could to try to make up for those guys, but it’s a lot of talent sitting in suits,” James said.

He elaborated.

“I don’t know any other team ‑‑ I’ve been watching basketball for a long time. I’m a historian of the game. I don’t know any other team that’s gotten to The Finals without two All‑Stars. I cannot remember thinking of it. I can’t remember in the back ‑‑ I don’t even know if it’s ever happened, for a team to lose two All‑Stars and still be able to make it to The Finals.”

 

“The Lightning was wiped out by the Black Hawks. I’ve got the report here in the newspaper:

“(CNN)For the third time since 2010, the Chicago Blackhawks are the Stanley Cup champions.

Chicago defeated Tampa Bay 2 to 0 on Monday night to claim the best-of-seven series in six games.

The Blackhawks also won the NHL title in 2010 and 2013.

Five of the six games were decided by a single goal.

The sixth game was played in Chicago.”

“I prefered the old style hockey when they only had six teams. Starting in 1942 they were known as ‘The Original Six’:the Boston Bruins, Chicago Black Hawks, Detroit Red Wings, Montreal Canadiens, New York Rangers and Toronto Maple Leafs. Back then the players didn’t move around as much. Now I can’t remember which player is with which team.”

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Read about my friends here  http://buff.ly/1wyjiKS

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