Archive for July 10, 2015

10 July 2015

“Dennis,” said Chuck. “I gotta tell you how I got Metro this morning.” He could hardly get the words out, he was laughing so hard. “We were on the corner talking when this big woman came by, she must have weighed three hundred pounds. I said to Metro, ‘How would you like to have her sitting on your face?’ Metro was flabbergasted — you know how skinny he is — he said, ‘Chuck, are you crazy! She’d kill me!’ I went in to get my coffee and when I came out I said to him, ‘If you were to take her to a bar for three quarts of beer, give her some of my water pills, then, maybe, she’d give you a golden shower.’ He didn’t like that. He said, ‘Chuck get away from here. That’s something I don’t even want to think about! That image will haunt me for the rest of the day!’ I laughed so hard I nearly fell out of my chair — the sheer look of horror on Metro’s face was priceless. I wish you’d been there. I don’t know where that came from or how these things pop into my head.”

I said, “Next time I see him I’ll ask if he’s had a shower.”

“That’ll be good,”

A grey haired woman I recognized, approached us.  She asked, “Chuck, are you warm?”

“Yes,” he replied.

To me she said, “I always think he looks so warm.”

I said, “He could still use a hug.”

She said, “I know, I always give him a hug and a kiss.” She was digging in her big purse for some change to give to Chuck.  She said, “Look what I did to my hand.” The area of her hand around her thumb and first finger was red and painful looking.

I asked, “Did you scald yourself? Is that a burn from a kettle?”

“No, my coffee was getting cold and I put it in the microwave. I just twirled the dial and went away. I don’t know why I do that. When I came back it was boiling.  I knew the cup would be hot so I used a pot holder to take it from the microwave. I was going to pour it into a travel mug. It just exploded and went all over my hand. I ran to the sink and held it under cold water for about thirty seconds, then went over to my friend’s house.  She’s like a nurse, not really but she always has things like Polysporin and bandages at the ready. She poured cold water in the sink and told me to keep my hand in there for twenty minutes. It took the pain away immediately — You should remember that in case you ever burn yourself — Then she put Polysporin and a dressing on it. That was two weeks ago. I think I should go to my doctor and get some antibiotics, just in case.”

She put some change into Chuck’s cap, bent over, hugged him and kissed his cheek. He responded in kind.

When she left he said, “I don’t think I’m going to stay here much longer.”

I took that as my cue to say, “Yes, I should get to work,” even though by my watch I was thirty minutes early. “If the weather’s good, I’ll see you on Monday.”

“See you.”

Read about my friends here