Archive for April 9, 2019

.

sunny wheels august 2012

.

22 August 2012

This morning I spoke with Sunny, of Sunny’s Newswire. “Hi, Sunny.”

“Hi, I’m glad to see you. Did you visit my website? What did you think?

“It’s great. I also listened to your proposal to the Ottawa City Council. It was very well presented.”

“Thanks! Yesterday, I was on the Lowell Greene Show, on talk radio, but he blew me off. I have a recording of the program, if you’d like to hear it.”

“Sure!”

“I’ll rewind this. Anyway, what I was proposing was that Ottawa investigate the building of a solar monorail, like they have in Bologna, Spain.”

Solar Monorail Proposed for Bologna

“Did you hear that we lost Phyllis Diller? She had a great laugh. I was talking to a friend about which celebrity we would most like to meet. My choice would be Doris Day. You’re old enough to remember her. She’s an animal activist (founder of Actors and Others for Animals, the Doris Day Animal League and the Doris Day Pet Foundation). I sent her an email saying that I’d like to meet her, but I didn’t get an answer.

“See that guy, sitting on the sidewalk, with his hat out (referring to Francis). I don’t know what that’s all about. I find it disgusting. Doesn’t he have any sense of dignity?”

“There’s something coming up on the radio that I want you to hear. Maybe, you’ve already heard it. President Obama’s ratings have gone up four points because of a gaffe made by the opposing party. The remark has angered a lot of people, especially women. It’s coming on now:

Missouri Rep. Todd Akin, who is running for the Senate against Missouri Sen. Claire McCaskill, stated in a television interview on Sunday that “women’s bodies are able to prevent pregnancies if they are victims of a LEGITIMATE rape”. This is the dumbest statement I have heard a man make about women’s bodies since an 18-year-old kid told me once years ago that women can only get pregnant if they have an orgasm during sex….but that was a dumb 18-year-old warehouse stocker…..Akin is a member of the United States House of Representatives and is running to unseat Senator McCaskill of Missouri.

“What do you think? I’m sure that’ll cost Romney the women’s vote.

“Here’s that recording from the Lowell Green Show. I went by the name of Steve. Don’t put it too close to your ear, I have it turned up loud.”

“We have Steve on the line from Ottawa. Hi Steve, what would you like to talk about?”

“Hi Lowell, I understand that our mayor is interested in saving money on our proposed light rail system. I suggest that we investigate the possibility of a solar monorail, like the one they have in Bologna, Spain.”

“A solar monorail? There’s just one problem with that, Steve. What do we do when it’s dark?”

“We sleep… Actually the solar energy is stored in cells, and is released as necessary.”

“They don’t have storage cells that big. Steve, have you heard about Spain’s financial crisis?”

“Yes, I have. That’s the reason they opted for solar power. Energy from the sun is free.”

“Steve, I think you’ve been out in the sun too long. I think your brain is a bit fried.

“Next caller.”

“Well, so much for that. I still think it’s a good idea. With the help of an engineer friend of mine, from Newfoundland, we’re designing a solar-powered ship. It would be huge: with ballrooms, swimming pools and luxury condos.”

“Sounds great Sunny. I wish you all the best with it.”

Wednesday at noon was pleasant. The sky was sunny, the temperature warm, but not hot. As I was walking up the sidewalk to the park, I saw Serge laying on his side. “Hi Serge, are you alright?”

“I think I passed out, but I’ll be alright.”

“Are you sure? I’ll check on you later.”

“See you later.”

On the curb were Shark and Jillian. Shark said, “Elaine was here earlier, but she had to see her worker, so I’m alone, free and loving it. We got cable and satellite in our new place. Elaine is paying for the satellite, I’m paying for the cable. I’m going to drill a hole in the wall of my room, so I can watch both.”

Joy was on the lawn. Outcast and Hippo were talking at the railing.

Outcast said to me, “Were you away for the weekend?”

“Yes, I was at the lake. It was great.”

“How about the long weekend? Will you be away then?”

“I’m not sure. I had planned on visiting my granddaughter in Toronto, but my sons are going to be in Renfrew, visiting friends. They used to live there.”

“I used to live in Renfrew. Actually, I was there on an alcohol recovery program. It’s a nice little town.”

“Yeah, it is,” agreed Hippo. I lived nearby in Almonte. I went to Renfrew a lot.”

Joy came over to me and said, “I need to sit down. Let’s go over to the curb with Andre.”

“Hi Andre, you haven’t been fighting with any big natives today, have you?”

Andre laughed and said, “James and I made a truce. This morning I brought him a bottle and we drank together. There was no point in us hurting each other every day. I’d rather have him at my back than have him facing me. This city can be dangerous.”

Joy said, “I’ve told Dennis about that.”

“That reminds me, Joy, You’ll never guess who I saw last night… Sharon, the former girlfriend of Ambrose.”

“She’s out of prison?”

Andre continued, “I was panning on Elgin, in front of Bridgehead. Sharon was inside having a coffee. I got Inuvik to sit with my cap on the street and I went in to talk to her — I was inside when it started raining, Inuvik got soaked — I went back outside, as soon as I sat down, somebody dropped me ten bucks. Inuvik was pissed. I saw Magdalene walking towards us. Sharon came out to continue our conversation. I knew they both liked to scrap, so I said, ‘You’re both my friends, I don’t want any trouble between you.’

“Magdalene was drunk, acting like a smart ass. Sharon punched her right in the mouth. Here I am in the middle. Magdalene looked at me as if to say, Who are you going to side with? I said, hold on, whatever you two have to work out, go ahead, but I’m staying out of this.”

Joy said, “You should have sided with Sharon, she’s the better fighter. The last time we got in a fight, I had a broken ankle and was walking with a cane. She kicked my cane and punched me in the side of the head. I took the bus home.

“I told Big Jake about it. He didn’t say a word. He walked into the bathroom, took the plastic handle off the plunger and filled it full of dimes. Then, he untwisted a wire coat hanger and wrapped the open end of the handle. He sealed the opening, and wrapped the wire with duct tape. There was quite a weight to that.

“The next day, I was sitting in my usual spot when Sharon came by. She told me to move on. I said, ‘Make me!’ She bent down to take another swing at my head. I ducked and pulled out the club from my sleeve. I hit her, with all my might, on each side of her head. She was knocked out cold. I pushed her off the sidewalk, onto the slush of the street, and went home.

“She saw me a while later and said, ‘You pack a good punch.’ She didn’t give me any trouble after that.”

Fran rode up on her bicycle. Joy said, “Hi Fran, I haven’t seen your dad for a while. Is he okay?”

“He’s at Innes serving thirty days for a breach. He was panning in front of McDonald’s on Bank Street. That’s a red zone for him.”

Joy said, “They must really have him medicated. He’s probably on lithium; that’s what they put me on. The last time I was there was for assaulting Jake. Mind you, I was on suicide watch. I was kept in Observation. They kept giving me cheese sandwiches for breakfast, lunch, supper and snack. I didn’t have any appetite, so I made a pillow of them. I said, couldn’t you at least give me some soup in a styrofoam cup, or some meat?”

Three men approached. They shook hands with Andre then Joy, who introduced me to them, “Dennis, this is Tommy. He’s Jim’s brother, Hattie’s boyfriend.” We shook hands.

Tommy introduced his two friends, Hank and Dan. “We’re all from the same place. We used to call ourselves the ‘four horsemen’ but, one is in jail.  Jim is at Innes right now. He was sentenced to six months for assaulting Hattie. He’ll serve four… I know, he’s an asshole.”

Andre said, “So, he got 120 days. When I was there last, I was sick at first too. Then I got my appetite back. I was ‘fishing’ down the corridor for food. I’d pass my paper plate to the guy in the next cell. It’d get passed down the whole block. I’d always get something: fruit, a juice box, a muffin.”

Andre was wearing baggy shorts and Johnny noticed, what appeared to be, claw marks on his upper thigh. “Andre, did you get in a fight with a cat?”

“No,” said Joy, “he got too close to a pussy that he wasn’t supposed to get close to. He’s lucky that I have my fingernails rounded. When I was in prison I used to file them like claws. I’m talking flesh tearing claws. That reminds me of my days at P4W (The Prison For Women located in Kingston, Ontario).”

Tommy said to Joy, “How old are you?”

“How old do I look?”

“I’d say about fifty.”

“Oh, thanks! I’m forty-six.”

“It’s the lines around your eyes. Are you and Andre together?”

“No, we’ve known each other a long time. We’re not living together, we’re not going out together, he’s not fucking me. He tries to touch me and I don’t like it. Maybe now he’ll learn his lesson.”

I said, “I’m her father.” Everybody laughed. Tommy winked at Joy. He said, “We have to go now, but I’ll see you around.”

After they left, Joy said, “Why do guys always hit on me?”

“Because you’re pretty,” I said.

“It’s your charm,” said Andre.

Sample my books for free — To date, $1945.00 has been donated to the homeless:
Gotta Find a Home: Conversations with Street People
http://buff.ly/1SGzGCY ($.99 Download)
http://buff.ly/1qLHptc ($.99 Download)
https://buff.ly/2lUfp6Q ($.99 Download)
https://buff.ly/2Gkoyxj ($.99 Download)
Podcasts:http://buff.ly/1Pxlf9p
http://www.blunttalk.libsyn.com/
http://buff.ly/1XU368M
http://buff.ly/2iYvOE4
http://buff.ly/2jdjZd6