Why don’t you just kill him?

Posted: May 28, 2019 in Dialog, Prose
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,




18 October 2012

At noon I walked to the park. The weather was a balmy sixty-five degrees Fahrenheit. Sitting on the curb were five of my friends and Shaggy. Chester and Eric walked by, but didn’t stop.

Joy approached to greet me, “Dennis,” she said, “we were so worried that something had happened to you. I didn’t see you this morning and now it’s 1:10, we always expect you at noon.”

I looked at my watch, “Joy, it’s 12:10, this is the time I usually arrive. I was running late this morning because it’s garbage day. I came by your spot at about 8:50, but you weren’t there.”

“We must have just missed each other. I was probably in Tim Horton’s, I had to pee.”

Outcast said, “All of us thought it was one o’clock. Yesterday, you came by early to see Nancy, but she didn’t come. Today, she came by, but you missed her, you arrived late.”

I wore a sweater, but after sitting in the sun for a while, I took it off. With the sun shining on the back of my black shirt I felt so hot I moved to the shade.

Joy said, “I didn’t like the way that Weasel was snapping his fingers at Stella. It’s his dog, if she wants to come over to see Bear, she will. That Weasel is such an asshole.”

Jacques said, “Stella has always been nice. She’s been coming around for a long time, fifteen years maybe.”

“Crash was around then,” said Joy. “A lot of people have come and gone. Jacques, it’s only you, me, Shark and Elaine who are the originals.”

Somebody asked, “Where’s Shakes?”

Joy said, “He’s gone to his ‘office’.”

There were three bees flying around Jacques. He said, “What do you want from me? Is it my beer you’re after? I may be stupid but not as stupid as that.” As he was swatting at the bees he knocked his beer over with his knee.

“This morning,” said Jacques “the cops came by. They ask me to pour out my beer. I tip it upside down and say, ‘It’s empty. I just save the can for recycling.’ They didn’t even check my traveling mug. It was full of beer.”

Outcast said, “I’d just opened a fresh beer, I took one swig. The cop said, ‘Take one swallow and pour the rest out.’ He still gave me a ticket.”

Joy said, “Rodent was by earlier. What a piece of work he is.”

Outcast said, “I don’t like him either.”

Jacques said, “You guys, nobody likes him, so why don’t you just kill him?”

I said to Jacques, “That’s a straight-forward, simple solution. Why didn’t anybody else think of that?”

Joy said, “That asshole, Chester, really gave me a hard time yesterday. He was drunk. He always gets abusive when he’s had too much to drink. I phoned him this morning and asked him, ‘Is everything alright with us? You were so angry last night.’ He said, ‘Everything’s fine,’ but he just walked by and waved. He said he’s going to pay ten percent on the hydro bill, so they don’t turn the power off. I gave him money for hydro, he spent it all on beer. He’s going to Rodent’s place now. Usually, when he goes out, he leaves me the electronic key so I can get into the building, but this time he didn’t. I have my own key for the inside door.”

I said, “Couldn’t Chester have a copy made for you?”

“He could, but I don’t even want to go there. I should be able to get in. I’ll just have to wait until someone unlocks the door; I’ll slide in behind them. I hate doing that. I feel like a thief.

“Next week I go to see my worker, it’s about getting my identification.

I said to her, “Jake, Andre and Hippo all needed their identification replaced. They only had to wait a few weeks. Why is it that I’ve been waiting since January?’ She couldn’t give me an answer. She said that she’d look into it.

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