……

21 November 2012

Joy was in her usual spot this morning, talking to Delmar the garbage man.

“Hi Delmar,” I said.

“Hello, Dennis.”

Joy said to him, “So handsome, when are you coming over to visit me in my new place, or would your wife object.”

“I think she’d object.”

I had a newspaper to sit on, but instead, I knelt beside Joy, “How are you making out today?”

“So, so, I came down with seven dollars, I’ve had drops of three dollars plus some jingle for my cap.” I was there for about ten minutes and half a dozen people dropped change into her cap. “You’re lucky for me, Sunshine, I was doing lousy before you came along.”

“Do you have heat?” I asked.

“No, the landlord came down with a plastic card that looked like a fridge magnet. It was a thermometer. He waved it around, looked at it and said, ‘It’s a balmy eighty-six degrees in here.” I took the card and put it on the heater it registered eighty-two. I kept the card overnight and put it in the hall to the outside. There is no heat in there at all, it’s the same as the outside temperature. The thermometer read seventy-seven degrees. Last night it went down to freezing. So, I’m done with that. I’ll be getting a space heater from my worker and until then I’ll leave the oven on.”

“How about your neighbor, is he still noisy?”

“I talked to him last night. He was stomping around so I got a shovel and banged on my ceiling. He came down a few steps and kicked on my door. He said, ‘What’s the idea with all that banging?.’ I said, ‘That’s what I hear every time you walk across the floor. So, you can either walk more quietly or you’ll get the same in return, your choice.’ I told the landlady about it. He said, ‘Maybe we should let the police decide.’ I said, ‘Sure,’ and rhymed off the number for him. ‘When you’re on the line ask for McQuaid, Curzon, Santorini, Warrington, Harris. Just tell them that you were talking to Joy, they’ll know who you mean.’ He asked, ‘So, you’ve been in trouble with the police?’ I said, ‘No, man, these are family. They’re married to my sisters.’ That shut him up.

“Here comes trouble.”

Andre was scowling as he approached. “I’m so pissed off. Alphonse and Magdalene sat down beside me. Alphonse asked me for a smoke, then he asked if I had anything to eat. I gave him some pizza, He said, ‘I don’t like it.’ Then he said, ‘You’re sitting in my spot, would you mind moving on.’ Can you believe that? He’s lucky I didn’t kick him in the head.”

Since there were already two people talking to Joy I decided to head to work. “I’ll see you at noon, Joy, André.”

“We’ll see you, Dennis.”

At noon I stopped to talk to Wolf and to scratch Shaggy. Wolf said, “Hello, Dennis. See the leather coat some lady gave me. This will have to be my Sunday coat, not my going to the store coat. I certainly won’t wear it when I’m panning.”

Outcast didn’t have his dentures in, so he was a bit hard to understand. “Isn’t this a beautiful day we’re having? Forty-six degrees Fahrenheit, the sun is shining. Tomorrow is supposed to be the same, then we get snow on Saturday. I guess we should appreciate days like this when we have them. Today we’re blessed. I’m going to go for a whiz, so I’ll see you later.”

At the traffic island, the Salvation Army Outreach van was parked. Joy was standing on the passenger side leaning in the window talking to her worker. André was standing on the driver’s side talking to his worker. They were also handing out socks and purple print underwear.

Seated, hunched over was Shakes. Outcast brought him a pair of underwear. Shakes said, “These are large, I need a medium. I don’t want to have to be hitching them up as I walk down the street.”

Jacques said, “They gave me these socks. I think they’re nylon. They won’t be warm for the winter. See the nice boots that Stella brought for me this morning — real winter boots. I’ll put some oil on the leather so they’re waterproof and I’ll be all set.

“See this paper I got.” It was a letter from Jacques’ former landlord claiming back rent of fifteen dollars a day for eight days and a storage fee for his belongings of ten dollars a day.

I said, “You’re in your new place now, aren’t you?”

“Yes, he handed this to me when I was picking up the last of my stuff. Some people stay fourteen days and he doesn’t charge them. I’m not going to pay this.

“Oh, Oh, here comes Willy. He’s staggering. When he’s drunk he likes to fight. You know, he served twenty years for murder.”

When Willy came across the street Joy started singing:

Oh, where have you been,
Willy Boy, Willy Boy?
Oh, where have you been,
Charming Willy?

Shakes asked, “Have you ever been to sea, Willy?” He was referring to an old Captain Highliner commercial. He said to Willy, “Over at the van they’re giving out socks and underwear if you want some.”

“No,” said Willy, “I don’t want anything to do with those bastards.”

Outcast came over, “Dennis, I got an invoice from the city for unpaid liquor violations from December 2010 to now. The total amount is $5,600.00. They’re going to be waiting a long time for that.”

Joy came back from talking to her worker. Outcast said, “Tell Dennis about the problem you’re having with your neighbor, and who you saw today.”

“I told my landlady about the problem I was having with my neighbor. I said to her, ‘When he walks across the floor my cabinet doors shake.’ She doesn’t speak very good English and thought that my cabinets had fallen off the wall. When I came up here, snow fences were being put up across the street. Guess who was installing them … My neighbor. I went over to talk to him. He asked me, ‘Why did you rat me out to the landlady?’ I asked him, ‘Why do you think, you stupid fuck?’ Then I gave him the finger, smiled and said, ‘Your turn will come.’ He doesn’t know who he’s messing with.

The landlady phoned my worker, the one I just spoke to. They both had been in a panic. My worker drove down here to meet me. She was crying. So, we have that straightened out. I asked her, “So, I’m not being kicked out am I?’ That was my big concern. ‘No,’ she said, ‘You’re not being kicked out.’ I’m going to lay low for a while. I’ve asked the landlady for more things in a week than I’ve asked other landlords in years. I don’t want her to think that I’m a nuisance. I’ll just see how it goes.”

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