Archive for July 23, 2019




22 March 2013

A couple of my street friends were at the traffic island trying to avoid Security Guards or Police who would ask them to move along. We greeted each other and I was about to sit on the sidewalk. Little Jake said, “Be careful, Dennis, don’t sit on that metal plate. You’ll freeze your ass off.”

Jacques handed me a folded hoodie, I sat on that. When I was settled Shakes said, “Thanks Dennis for giving me those bus tickets yesterday. I paid my fare and they took me home in handcuffs.”

“How did that happen, Shakes?”

“I wasn’t even drunk, I was just tired. I fell asleep and when I woke up I was in the bus garage at the end of the line. The driver called security. They drove me home in handcuffs.

“I still don’t have my hydro. I phoned my worker this morning. She said, ‘I don’t think we’ll have time to see you today, Shakes.’ I said, ‘You mean I’m going to have to go all weekend without hydro. How would you like to go all weekend without hydro?’ Then she said, ‘We’ll try to make room for you sometime this afternoon.”

“Where is their office? Where do you have to go to meet them?”

“Their office is on Preston, but they know where I’ll be. Where I am every day — at my office.”

Jake asked, “Is everything turned off? When I had problems with hydro a guy took me to the basement. He flipped a breaker switch and everything was okay after that.”

Shakes said, “My heat isn’t on, my stove doesn’t work, my fridge doesn’t work, my radio doesn’t work, my lamp doesn’t work, my microwave doesn’t work, my dishwasher doesn’t work…”

“Shakes, you don’t have a dishwasher!” said Jake, “but you’ve got a hell of a lot more than I have.”

Jacques was paging through a flyer from the Metro grocery store. He said, “I have to buy some margarine. They have
Beycel here for $3.79, but that’s too expensive. Here they have the meat pies I like. They’re so good. Three Meat Pies they call them for $3.50 each. If someone had hydro, he could buy some of these. They’re frozen, you just heat them up in your oven or microwave.”

Jake asked, “When you’re finished with that, Jacques can I have a look at it.

“When do we get our check this month?”

“This month we get it on the Thursday, because the next day is Good Friday.”

“My birthday is on Wednesday. You mean I get my check the day after my birthday. For four days my younger brother and I are the same age. I get that extra $200.00 for my special diet. I’m spending it all on food this time. I’m going to stock my freezer full.”

Jacques said, “Don’t forget your bus pass. It’s only $35.00. I always buy mine on check day. That way I don’t forget.”

Jake said, “Okay, Jacques you remind me and we’ll both get them at the same time.”

Jacques said, “I don’t mind buying yours if you promise to pay me back.”

“Thanks,  I’ll pay you back. I’ll be able to pay everybody back, as long as I don’t celebrate too much on my birthday.

“Look over there, Uncle Wolf is really drunk. Shaggy is rolling in the snow.”

Jacques said, “She wants to go home. She’s been out all morning. Look who else is there, Billy and Troll, the biggest leeches in town. I bet they rob him blind. They know Wolf always makes lots of money on Friday because people know he won’t be panning on the weekend. If Wolf sends Troll on a run, he probably won’t come back.”

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